I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
