Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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