That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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