Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry eebem154 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(919): View more from North Carolina

When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?

Fav 24 981 3080
share tweet
(206): View more from Washington

he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.

Fav 13 9616 1085
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(630): View more from Illinois

I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.

Fav 21 1509 6982
share tweet
(605): View more from South Dakota

If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.

Fav 2 3125 1031
share tweet
(414): View more from Wisconsin

could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?

Fav 9 1720 1210
share tweet
(478): View more from Georgia

You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable

(318): View more from Louisiana

You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.

Fav 13 3033 1134
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(615): View more from Tennessee

I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister

Fav 6 1652 895
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(425): View more from Washington

Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.

Fav 2 91 14
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(859): View more from Kentucky

Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....

Fav 0 49 10
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT