it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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