like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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