that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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