I will die if light touches me.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
