You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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