toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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