Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
