So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
