hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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