woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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