yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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