just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
