Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
