But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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