I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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