I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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