She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
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I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
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And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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