I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
