Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
