i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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