YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
