Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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