And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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