Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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