i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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