Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Text me some of your sweat
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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