About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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