i wish peter jackson would direct porn
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
