Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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