Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
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