My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
