Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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