Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
