need another drink. this is the easiest way
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
