Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
