i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
