i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Randomize
