He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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