PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
we should paint friendship bongs
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
