Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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