I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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