In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
