At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
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