So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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