Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
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He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
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after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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