I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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