I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
