we're blogging at a bar
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
