Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
