Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize