It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
