apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize