So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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